full daze.

these daze, they are full. full of life.

and sometimes that life is ugly. sometimes, like a peaceful morning, it’s beautiful. sometimes life, like right now, is exhausting. I keep thinking ‘next week will be calm…’ and then someone gets sick, or the husband works late, or when he’s not working at the office he’s working from the kitchen…or friends/family need another hand to tow the rope…and so, life…happens again.

since when do I believe life is only great when it’s quiet, calm, orderly, and stress-free?

So I pray for strength. and I learn to take care of myself. and even when I can’t do that, I pray for grace. and when I’m on the verge of breaking down, I keep running. slowly. and when i am completely spent, poured out and empty like never before, i am finding myself filled…sometimes it’s a lovely obedient moment, overcoming a selfish desire to pitch a fit about one thing or other….other times I really do lose it, and re-learn forgiveness and mercy from my husband, from my kids, but always running, and always growing.

day by day by day. to the fullest. ugly or beautiful. the life I’ve been given.

and in this peaceful moment, I rejoice.


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